April 15, 2015
My friend, Becky Foster, wrote me that my cancer is like a rotting log in the forest of my body, but wonderful things happen in the ecosystem of a rotting log: mosses, mushrooms, lichen, flowers and even fungi that harden into little canvasses, the ones we use to document Adirondack hikes. These logs are known as "nurse logs" because they nurture along so many growing things.
Becky wrote, "If anyone could turn this rotting log into a miraculous corner of the forest, you can! I think of you now as a force for generating the most lovely and most green things in the forest. You've actually been doing that all along, now that I think of it, but now your power is increasing."
Well, I don't know about that power. Maybe. I hope so. Now I am recycling so much love coming in to me. And I must admit that this cancerous rotting log in me - while it saps my energy and strength - has certainly engendered loads of loving kindnesses that have bouyed me along this journey. There are many beautiful growths sprouting from this nurse log. You can hardly see the log.
I always encouraged Finn to "focus and finish" his homework. As I focus and finish my time here, my nurse log brings me the comfort and joy of all of you, green and growing. I am part of the circle of life and I am with you.